As I balance motherhood, home-schooling and my own business as well as "life", I am intrigued at what I let fall away in terms of what I had preciously felt was vitally important to my existence.
Now that I am mid 40s I may not have imagined my life to be this scene. But I know that I had not imagined it from a place of complete wholeness before so it would not look like anything but swiss cheese if I had done so.
Now that my eldest is shifting into his 9 year change I am seeing the solidness of his ether energy shift and harden, wishing I could replace those times of pain and meanness with joy and comfort. Knowing that my best chance of his wholeness is to gift him with the ability to be his own self and not take heed to words of another saying "it's your fault if I leave".
And yet it is easy for me to fault in another. In fact it is and I will fault another. Because I know better now and they absolutely know better. So it does come down to a choice now. Because you cannot blame your behavior or actions or words on someone else and think that is being a parent with any sense.
I cannot define my life against anyone else's. I love the life Carol and Michael have created at Blackberry Inn and find myself in the fantasy of a richer, more fulfilling romance with life.
Can I bring more of this to the life I live in this cramped apartment in a busy city with opposing values and views of life?
I shall do my best.
First, Ryder's wish for our baking time was to enjoy Tapioca. Sweet Dax made the most delicious Tapioca pudding in vanilla and chocolate.
The next day we baked Short bread cookies using ground tapioca balls.
Just yesterday we backed cinnamon rolls and today a fresh loaf is in the oven.
I take delight in knowing I can experience a little piece of heaven and share it with my boys as they learn and live and love.
Baking is truly one of the timeless treasures to teach, share and learn.
This week we also went to a "childrens carnival" and met some baby goats and mini ponies.
NOTES: Dax learned "dozen" making and counting 2 dozen cookies.
Both Ryder and Dax measured and learned about fractions, teaspoon, Tablespoon and CUP, PINT and Quart. In our stories from the week we also measured Acre and mile
Dax continues with the Grimm Fairy Tales and retelling is one of my favorite times. I often think he might be writer, artist - no question he is the creative.
Ryder is learning to knit and Dax is finger knitting. Dax is foremost an artist and his work gets more intricate daily.
We also made home made "Cottage Cheese" and enjoyed this with tomato from our garden.
We continued to swim this week and ride bikes. Both boys are doing well with these exercises.
Ryder continues to read aloud in McGuffey and goes through the Amulet series - which I have decided will be the end of "garbage" books for him this year.
We continue on the virtue Self Discipline and will start Compassion next month.
September is birthday months so we will do much in the way of hand work and bringing in harvest.
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