I feel for you completely. Here is my advice from a mommy doing grade 2 and Kindy and first time this year with Enki.
First, have compassion for yourself. Lots and lots of it. Take a walk and breathe. This is just my intuitive hit so take it or ...the emotions coming up around this sound like they may be connected with some other past situation/trauma or belief (have to get it all done, there's not enough time, et al)
What I have learned is this - and while I do get that each set of materials is for a specific grade - I can tell you that I (at 44 for - so what "grade" does that make me?) get benefit - and a huge benefit, enrichment, understanding, learning, skill level learning with the materials. What that realization meant for me was that I didn't have to be on some check list line up to get something done by a certain age or time. My view is these materials will feed us for a long time to come and they will integrate lovely for many "grades" to come.
I wasn't sure if you are new to Enki over all? If so, then that may just be the "newbie" reaction we all experience. One thing for sure, Enki is not an instant fix or instant gratification. The gratification is so compounded and compounds exponentially after a few months of full integration of the web.
Breathe! Breathe in the grace you are and the amazing, kind, strong woman and mother who connected with Enki and chose this path. It's a quest - it's a journey into ourselves and definitely not about a destination!
Practically speaking, perhaps stepping back from it then
setting yourself up the space and time to be with it - cup o' tea, cozy
chair or...immersing yourself in the materials towards what feels good,
what calls to you to bring to your children. Take all the should's out
of the equation and it starts to come together nicely. No rules, just
you and your desire to....
Stephana
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