Altercations, bullying, differing opinions

Yesterday at our regular park play date with other home schooling families we have been seeing for nearly a year an altercation broke out between Ryder my almost 8 year old and a few of the other children ranging from 11 to 7.

Today when  I was discussing the incident with Ryder he said "I learned to use my words from you and I learned to fight back from dad". I am still reeling from this whole thing so I thought I would write it out here and see if I can make sense of this.

When I discussed the incident with Ryder's father, he said "Aikido isn't working clearly, he needs to take a boxing class and...." I tuned out after that knowing it would take me down a much visited path that leads no where good.

I am VERY against violence. But I also understand the world and growing up can be tough. It is why I personally take Aikido and why Ryder does and why Dax will when he turns 6.


Ryder told me he was trying to play by himself when the other children kept saying "Ryder's it, Ryder's it" for some game. He said he kept repeating he didn't want to play but they kept teasing him.

"I was playing by the trees by myself, "names withheld of the 5 other kids" ran over and they started pushing me and saying I was it, and I wasn't playing.  They kept tagging me by pushing me and I fought back.When I kept saying I wasn't playing they started fighting me, "name of girl" punched me "4 of the kids names" kept on pushing me and saying it in a rude way "Ryder's it" and I kicked  back to protect myself."

When the other children came up after Ryder came to me, the other children said Ryder kicked them and was calling them names. They didn't say anything about them being the cause of the trouble or that they had actually started the pushing and kicking instead made it seemed like Ryder was the bad kid in it all. As I listened to these children speak my heart broke. I called Ryder over to be part of resolving this. When Ryder said his side and one mother asked if what Ryder said was true, they admitted it was true.

ARGH! As I listened to the girl that I would never consider would lie or fabricate the truth - she's nearly 10  my heart became sad and I found myself frustrated. I hate to be a Darcy - but I am. I just can't help it. Once my good opinion is lost, it's lost forever. Ah high drama of parenting, of life, of growing up. 

Is this a new rite of passage as a parent? Perhaps if I weren't in the middle of so much other turmoil in my life right now, this may not have been so significant. As it stands in this moment, I am so sad, hurt and frustrated at so many different things.