I nearly cried...please DO NOT FORCE your children into an arcade or chuck e cheese type place if they are digging their heels, pay attention

The boys and I were exploring various activities they could do with the grandmother while I'm filming my movie soon. One of the choices was a place called Big Al's an arcade/bowling alley/restaurant. Think Dave and Busters, a bigger Chuck E Cheese - lots of noise, lots of lights, flickering and really erratic energy.

Any human being half way aware would feel discomfort from this place. 

I wanted to explore the option of the bowling and it's walking distance to our place. 

The boys and I gingerly walked up to the front doors, (I had given them the pre explanation of the place and they knew what to expect). A father was walking with his son across the parking lot in front of us and then as soon as the boy saw and heard all the lights and noise when the door was opened by other people going inside he literally dug his heels in and said "NO, NO I do not want to go in there." I heard him say "It's too much!" but his father was torquing his arms and dragging him in and telling him to stop it or else... - I was connected with the boy empathically and totally aware of what was happening - I had to stop at the door and block the father and boy and said directly to the father who was clearly operating off of control and force. 

I asked the father to take a breath and let the boy breathe and told the dad this is sensory over load in here. To let his son understand what this environment is. Let him ease into it if you absolutely must take him in, please do not force him."

My boys both had so much compassion in that moment and connected with another child in a way that was profound. To understand another in an empathic way. We discussed this after and we talked about the possibilities in how it could have been handled differently - from the dads point, from the boy, from mine and from their's - 

This to me is an example of how I "home school."

And here is one of the possibilities from NVC - what I practice and teach my boys.

"When people think we have single-mindedness of purpose, it makes change difficult."

- Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication:
A Language of Life

From Living Compassion

"If you look up the word "demand" you will read various definitions, such as:

• "Forceful request"
• "An insistent request"
• "To claim as a right"

If a demand is a type of request according to various dictionaries, why is it important in NVC to make a distinction between the words "request" and "demand"?

One goal of NVC is to provide a platform for the free flow of feelings and needs with the intent of allowing for a more compassionate way for everyone to be heard and taken care of.

"Demand" in NVC is a request with strings attached. We all have either made such a request or have had one made of us. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg states, "Requests are received as demands when others believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply. People see only two options: submission or rebellion."

"Demand" has a more specific definition: a demand is a forceful request in which the speaker criticizes, judges or lays guilt upon the listener.

"Request" in NVC is a clear desire for a need to be met, often followed by showing empathy toward the listener's needs.

My heart hurts for these children who are forced like this - please parents - PLEASE, at the very minimum, at least treat your children how you wish to be treated!

 I pray for peace and send a light blessing to the world and all of our children and parents - understanding, love. And so mote it be.